The need to be loved and for acceptance is an innate human desire.  We all want people to like us.  Even those of us who say, "I don't care what people think about me" at a fundamental level, do actually care what people think about them.  We want to feel connected to those we care about, and we want others to feel connected to us.

 

Sometimes this need goes to far, and we become dependent on others for our own self worth.  This is what creates Codependency.

 

How do you know you are Codependent?

 

    * Do your feelings get hurt easily when others criticize you?

    * Do you try to use self pity in order to guilt others into doing what you want?

    * Do you depend on others for happiness, and get angry when they don't come through?

    * Do you struggle to get out of relationships you know are bad for you?

 

If you answered yes to any other these questions, you may be having problems with Codependency.

 

Codependency is often rooted in a lack of self confidence.  Lack of self confidence is often rooted in the way we allow ourselves to talk to ourselves.  If we are our own worst enemies, we are creating nothing but problems.

 

A good therapist will help you to figure out ways to believe in yourself and to become completely independent and autonomous.  Relationships are great to have, and they are a natural part of life, but making sure that you are maintaining healthy relationships is a key to your overall psychological health and life satisfaction.