You can't make every relationship work.  Sometimes you can't make it work even if you really, REALLY want it to.

 

Before engaging in couples or marriage counseling, there must be an evaluation process to determine if this relationship is really worth saving.  Make a pros and cons list.  A therapist can help with this if you get stuck.  Decision?

 

If the answer is no, time to have "the talk."  You'll be glad you did.

 

If the answer is yes, keep reading...

 

Now, a good counselor is not going to act as a referree, take sides and say who

did which bad thing and who does the most bad stuff.  That's not how a good

counselor operates.

 

Even the best relationships can falter or lose steam.  The most common breakdown in relationships is a breakdown in communication.

 

A good counselor is going to show you a new way to get your relationship where you want it to be.  First, you've got to learn to talk.  If you can't talk to each other, you will be hurtling towards resent, which can doom any good relationship in a hurry.

 

How do you talk to each other?  Are you always trying to get the last word in?  Always trying to gotcha the other person.  Therapy can provide for the reconstruction in how couples communicate with each other, which is the bedrock to a good relationship.

 

The key here is identifying exactly what the problem is and only try to communicate that.  Spending time drudging up things that happened in the past can only serve to stall the resolution of the current issue.

 

At Pursuit of Happiness, we will also show you the best ways to tell the other person exactly what it is that you want or what it is that is bothering you.  Sometimes this is the most difficult thing to do.  There's a right way to communicate and a wrong way.  We'll make sure that you can say what you feel without throwing pillows at each other.

 

If you are having problems in your relationship, give us a call.  We can help.  Most marriages, even what seem to be the worst marriages, can be saved if both parties are willing to work at it.